Name the trees that stood in the neighbourhood where you grew up.

Who names trees? I do have a special tree though. I mean that makes sense. It's in Buckhurst Hill and was by the pond next to the church. It's a magnificent tree with sprawling roots and big wide branches. I played under it lots of a child and I hold it in strong affection. I'd go to bat for that tree.

A storm destroys your uncle's shed and kills his six-year0old son. Describe the colour of the sky right before the storm hit.

Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche famously said; "If you look long enough into the void the void begins to look back through you." and so it was when I looked into the darkness of the oncoming storm. As I stared into its blackening heart it drew me in. Its promise of destruction lay heavy in the crackling air around me. It was not something that could be outrun and bunkering down and praying to a hundred non-existent Gods was the only thing to try.

Describe an electronic device in the future that you won't know how to operate.

I will ALWAYS be able to operate electronic devices, but when they finally achieve sentience I may well have to argue with them.

Describe something you wanted badly, and once got it, never used it.

A gun the shape of a shark. I wanted an advance on my pocket money to get it, but once it was in my little excited hands

Describe yourself in the third person-your physical appearance. and personality-as though you were a character in a book.

He sighed. Worked paid just fine but it was boring. What right did he have to complain? Many people's jobs were boring and they only paid enough to get by. He looked around the room for a distraction. Five skulls on shelf opposite looked back reminding him to seize the day. Perhaps he could get some toast? No, Christ-Almighty how much toast could he eat in one day. The healthier apple sat on the table with it's single bite mark slowly turning brown. Opening the lid of the laptop again he sighed again and ploughed on.

Pick a small object to be given one day to your great-grandchild. Write a letter to that child explaining why you have chosen this object.

 If it was a small object i'd say the piano. Well, look - you're getting that anyway. Both a lovely thing to have and an albatross around your neck.

So what do you get? Noakie. I'd hope by the time i've croaked Noakie will be eighty, and by exension so will I. When you have a toy for 98% of you life you can't help but wonder how long he'll be around after you're gone so this isn't something that's useful or perhaps something you'd want but I'd hope you'd look at him and think of me. You're his new custodian and you're to pass him down the line. I'd hope he'd outlast us all.

You have just swallowed your pride and done something you didn't want to do. Your friend wants to know why. The two of you are driving around an almost-full parking garage looking for a space for the friend's oversize pickup. Write the scene.

"Why did you bring your over-compensation-wagon?  It's the freaking size of Texas.  There are some states this beast wouldn't fit in."

"That's jealousy talking."

"We both know if we'd taken my car we'd be parked by now."

A muffled sound came from the back.  Neither looked into the back.

"I thought I was better than this."

"Oh my heart bleeds.  You knew there was no choice."

He started to look round to the back seat but felt a hand on his shoulder.

"No looking back."

"We couldn't take your car.  It wasn't big enough.  She'd have been cramped."

More muffled sounds and wriggling came from behind them.

"This will work, won't it?  They won't go back on their deal?  The swap will work, right?  

I'll get my wife back."

I have twelve inches of sharp metal in my glovebox if things start to go South.

"Oh Jesus Christ.  Why is this happening?"

"Because you took the deal."

"Never negotiate with terrorists.  I get it.  Why did I?  What choice did I have?"

"We always have a choice."

"No, sometimes we don't."